Trade Off
by Carmensandiego79
Summary: A new story I've been working where Keen and Ressler find themselves heavily involved in an out of town case with a Blacklister. Of course crap goes bad... so they deal with that and their complicated feelings towards each other.
1. Chapter 1

Agent Keen scratched her head. For the past three hours she and Ressler had been nose deep in files on their current Blacklister case. The subject's name was Tyron Moxly; a criminal who had escaped the FBI's manhunt for over 15 years. His claim to fame was human trafficking. The FBI reasoned that Moxly had been responsible for the abduction and trading of over 200+ women since the 1980s. Young. Old. Dark skinned. Fair skinned. Moxly's victims did not have a type. According to Red, his clientele across the globe determined which type woman ended up his next victim.

"I need a break. I think I'm going to be sick." Keen said while pushing away the papers she had just been reviewing.

"I mean what kind of heartless monster could sell people." Her voice trailed off at the end as she stared at the countless photos of women suspected to be among Moxly's victims.

Ressler looked up. "The kind that has no heart", he stated matter of factly. "Look Keen, cases like this… You can't think too much or you end up on the wrong end of the FBI therapist's couch."

She smiled lightly.

"What have you got over there… anything worth noting?" Ressler was trying to get her to focus on the facts and not the emotions behind the case. He never imagined their partnership would get to the point it was at now. Him actually trusting her. But she had proven herself time and time again of being a great agent. And one of the reasons why was because she often allowed herself to feel. To become invested and empathize with the victims and sometimes even the perps. It was one of the biggest differences between them. But it made them work well together as partners.

"I keep going back to the woman that got away." Keen said leaning back in her chair.

"She was the only known victim who ever escaped him. Her report says that Moxly kept telling her that there was nothing to be afraid of. She should feel special… because she was wanted. It's almost as if Moxly thinks he's doing these women a favor by selling them."

Ressler thought about Keen's words for a moment. "Maybe you should go over your profile again. See if there's anything new you can determine from the victim's report.

"Honestly, Ressler. I've read the report a dozen times. I need to actually speak with her; see if I can drum up anything that was missed in the reports."

"That could be hard seeing as how she's in protective custody now. The FBI would never hand over that information", Ressler said while watching the wheels turn in his partner's head.

Keen's mouth turned into a sly smirk. "The FBI wouldn't. But Red would."


	2. Chapter 2

The door to the residence where Red was currently occupying slowly creaked open. Agents Keen and Ressler were greeted by a small, stout maid who ushered them into the foyer.

"Mr. Reddington is in the parlor on the right", she spoke softly to the two agents.

They walked down the hall to find him drinking his morning tea and reading the Wall Street Journal.

"The idiocy that this country calls journalism really is astounding", he said looking up from his paper.

"Lizzie, Donald… so wonderful to see you both this morning." Red smiled putting down his cup. "Please join me for some tea. The owner of this dwelling really does have an exquisite selection from his travels around the world."

"Wish we could join you but we're here on business, Red." Ressler said while looking slightly annoyed.

Red smirked. "Donald, all business and no pleasure must be a terrible life to lead. You really need to work on that."

Keen interjected. "Red, you gave us this Moxly case but I need a little more assistance. Completely off the record."

Red's interest peaked. "Now see Donald, Lizzie knows how to have a little fun."

"I need you to find out where the FBI is keeping the victim who escaped his capture. I need to talk to her." Keen looked at Red awaiting his reaction.

"That can be arranged. But I must warn you. I know for a fact that Moxly is aware of the victim's location. The only reason she is still alive is because he doesn't believe she is a threat to bring him down. If his people see her speaking with anyone who appears to be with the FBI, he will kill her. And try to kill you. He is a very dangerous man, Lizzie."

"I'm a big girl, Red. I can handle myself." Keen stated instantly regretting the teenage defiance she noted within her own voice.

"I know, Lizzie. I apologize if I gave you the impression I thought otherwise." Red turned to look at Agent Ressler.

"Donald, always a pleasure but I must bid you both adieu. Dembe and I have a flight to catch to Argentina. You haven't lived until you've had asado served while watching the sunset over the Andes."

It was just then that Dembe appeared holding a piece of paper that he gave to Agent Keen.

"The address of the victim, Lizzie." Red smiled while watching her shocked face as she read over the paper with a Madison, WI address.

"Red, how do you…", Keen looked up at him inquisitively.

"I've told you before, my dear Lizzie… information is true wealth."


	3. Chapter 3

Reddington's private jet had finally reached its cruising altitude when Agent Ressler got up from his seat to stretch his legs. He hated relying on Red for assistance with cases. But in this particular instance, the agents were left with no other choice. A huge storm was currently pounding Wisconsin and all commercial flights were cancelled.

He watched Keen, seated with papers all around her, still trying to learn as much about the case as she could before they landed.

Red had given them intel that the victim's new name was Rosa Sparks. She worked as a librarian at the county library and taught Sunday School at the church a few blocks from her home. Her life, to those around her, would seem perfectly normal. No one would suspect she was in protective hiding from a madman on the FBI's most wanted list.

"I'm still uncertain what the best method of getting the victim alone is", Ressler stated while Keen continued looking down at her notes.

"We don't have much time, Ressler. Drawing up an elaborate scheme could take days that we don't have". He nodded in agreement but kept quiet.

"What is your opposition to my plan?" Keen asked with a bit of edge in her voice.

Liz had suggested her and Ressler be a new couple in town attending Sunday church service and request a few moments to speak with Ms. Sparks so they could get her alone. After that, the agents would need to try to convince Sparks to speak with them about Moxly.

If Ressler were honest, Keen's plan wasn't half bad. But for some reason, he was having a bit of trouble with it.

"Nothing, Keen. Let's just try to go over as many details as we can before tomorrow. We owe that to Sparks. I won't allow us to compromise this woman's cover by being flippant and ill prepared. Red said Moxly's people have eyes on her. I'd almost bet that means there are some in the church."

Keen agreed.

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That evening, the agents checked into their hotel and immediately went to scope out the church and Sparks residence. The home the FBI provided Sparks was small, yet looked comfortable and inviting. There was a garden along the side of the house and the lights were on inside.

As they sat in the rental car surveying her home, Keen's thoughts about the case started to get the best of her.

"I wonder what it's like." She spoke out loud.

"What", Ressler grunted.

"Being sold to another human being… like goods." She sighed heavily. "My mind keeps going back to all the women who didn't make it out. What their life must be like now. Sold as a slave to another human being. To do whatever he or she chooses with you."

Ressler sat silent. He didn't have an answer for her.

"I'm not sure a Blacklister case has affected me like this, Ressler. It's unsettling."

He turned to look at Keen. His partner's eyes were staring back at him; almost begging for reassurance and comfort.

"Keen, we can abort this right now. Say the word", he said before she cut him off.

"No", she said. "I'm fine. There is nothing more I want right now than to get information to lock this SOB up for the rest of his life."

Her eyes were cold. Weary. Ressler started the car up and looked ahead at the road.

"Let's head back to the hotel and get some rest. Church starts early tomorrow morning and it's been a long day."

Ressler couldn't help but note an eerie feeling looming over him as he drove away.


	4. Chapter 4

Ressler knocked on Agent Keen's hotel room at 7am the next morning dressed in his Sunday best. Well, at least in the best suit and tie he had brought with him on the trip.

When the door opened, he was startled to find Keen dressed and ready to go. Not that he should've been surprised, she was always punctual.

"Give me one second, Ressler, let me go grab my purse", Keen said while disappearing behind a wall. It wasn't often that he came to her room when they were on official business travel. Usually they met down in the lobby or by the car. But this morning, something prompted him to go make sure she was ready.

When Keen came back to the door to leave the room, she stopped suddenly.

"Seriously, Ressler?" Keen smirked while staring at his tie. Ressler frowned and looked down wondering what she was staring at.

"You wear a collared shirt and tie almost every day of your life and you still can't get it right?"

All of a sudden, her hands were unbuttoning his suit jacket and lifting up his collar. Ressler tensed up while he watched her undo his tie with a sly grin on her face.

"When I was little, my dad used to ask me for help with his tie all the time. Even though I know he could do it himself. It was one of those things we shared together."

Ressler looked up at her, watching her reminisce as she slowly fixed his tie knot. He could smell her freshly washed hair. Lavender, he thought to himself as she finished up.

"Much better, Ressler", she said as she looked up at him and smiled.

"Now let's go and try to convince Starks to speak with us."

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The parking lot of Dominion Methodist Church was already full of cars when Ressler and Keen arrived. They parked as close as they could and slowly made their way to the entrance while being stared at and greeted by church goers recognizing them as new attendees.

Ressler couldn't shake the uneasy feeling he was having while approaching the church and hoped Keen hadn't noticed it. It wasn't the assignment. He knew that now. The reservations he was having about the mission had to do with the location. Ressler hadn't been in a church since Audrey's funeral months back. The flood of emotions was building up inside him like a rocket.

As if on cue, he felt Keen's hand grab his, steadying him. He looked over at her but she kept her gaze ahead.

Once inside the church, the agents sat down in a pew close to the back and immediately spotted Rosa Sparks. She was chatting with a couple in their 30s and their two kids. Keen noticed how "nice" she looked. Fresh faced, friendly, laughing and smiling. She wondered to herself how different her life would be now if she hadn't gotten away from Moxly.

When the church service was about to begin, Ressler and Keen watched as Sparks hustled a group of children out a side door, presumably to teach her Sunday school class.

"I think we should split up after the service to make sure we don't miss our chance to talk her", Keen leaned towards him and whispered in his ear.

Ressler turned his head towards her, not quite sure was in agreement with this plan. "Keen, I think you would have a better shot of convincing her to talk than I would. But if you think that's the best plan, I won't disagree."

She nodded as the church service began.

Keen hadn't been in a church in years. She was spiritual, maybe. But she definitely wouldn't call herself religious. Yet she couldn't help but be drawn into the reverend's sermon. He spoke on what it truly was to love someone. How love isn't selfish; but selfless. Allowing another person to break down the barriers of fear and loneliness that sometimes live in your heart. And allowing them inside to see the real you.

She snuck a glance at Ressler. She knew that he was paying attention even though his face had a mask of non-chalantness. She knew he was still hurting from Audrey. Still aching from losing her and what the future held between them. Still blaming himself for her death.

She slowly grabbed his left hand with hers and entwined their fingers. It was an intimate gesture. She realized that after she had done it. But he didn't flinch. He didn't pull away. Instead, his thumb began to gently brush against hers. She looked up at him, fully expecting his eyes to still be straight ahead. But they were fixated on hers. They stayed like that for longer than they should have until Keen realized the reverend had ended his sermon and the church goers were gathering their belongings to leave.

Ressler got up first; not quite understanding what had just happened between him and Keen.

"I'll head up to the front of the church if you want to go towards the back", he said, clearing his voice mid-sentence.

Keen nodded her head. "Ok. If you find her and can't signal me, don't blow the chance. Request to speak to her in private and lay out the details. We NEED her, Ressler. If we want to capture Moxly, she has to help us."

Ressler started walking towards the front as Keen made her way to the back of the church.


	5. Chapter 5

Keen spotted Sparks as soon as she pushed through the double doors. She was chatting with what looked to be a 10-year old boy while his parents shook their heads approvingly at whatever she was saying.

Keen froze. There was still a large crowd of people and she didn't want to draw attention to herself by asking to speak with Sparks in private and pulling her away from the other church goers. But she also knew that she couldn't let her out of her sight.

Keen tried to look back and spot Ressler to tell him she had her eyes on Sparks but she couldn't see him.

She decided to take advantage of the opportunity when Sparks ended the conversation with the boy and his parents and started walking toward one of the church offices.

"Ms. Sparks", Keen said with a wide grin on her face.

Sparks turned around with no hesitation and instantly returned the smile.

"Yes, that's me", she said with her eyes briefly scanning Keen. "You must be new to our church. I don't recognize your face. I hope you enjoyed yourself this morning."

"Yes, it was a wonderful service. My name is Elizabeth, I was actually wondering if we could talk in private for a few moments to discuss the children's Sunday school you teach. My husband and I have a 5 year old who we think would benefit from it, but have some questions."

Keen watched as Sparks processed her request, hoping she couldn't sense the pleading tone in her voice.

"Of course. Let's step into my office Elizabeth." Sparks turned and walked to the office a few steps away and slowly closed the door once they both were inside.

She sat down and began to speak a little about the program when Keen cut her off…

"Listen, Rosa, I don't have much time to say this because I know that Moxly has people watching you. But my name is Agent Keen and my partner who also attended service this morning is Agent Ressler. We've gotten some new leads on the Moxly case, but desperately need your help."

The look on Rosa Sparks face said it all. She was shocked. Scared. All of a sudden she jumped up from her seat and started to approach the door.

"Get out! Get out of here now! Who told you my location?"

"Listen, Rosa, I know you are scared. Please know that I would not have done this if there was another way. But I need you. I need to speak to you more to see if there's anything we missed. Anything at all that could help us find Moxly and bring him to justice for good."

Keen saw Rosa's mouth twitch. A few tears had started to fall down her face as she stared back at Agent Keen.

"I've already told the FBI all that I remembered from that night. What more do you want from me?"

"Anything", said Keen. "Anything at all that you remember from that night that could help us. You are the only woman we know who escaped him, Rosa. You saw his face. Heard him speak. I know you are tired of living in fear of him coming back for you one day."

Rosa stared at Keen now. Her face was no longer terrified. She was pissed.

"You jeopardized my cover by coming here."

Agent Keen opened her mouth to apologize, but Rosa spoke again.

"Meet me back in this office at 5pm. I have a class that ends around 4:45pm. No one will think twice if they see me speaking with you afterwards."

"Thank you." Keen said while nodding in agreement. "Thank you."


	6. Chapter 6

Ressler and Keen arrived to the church at 4:40pm. They sat waiting in the car, definitely not wanting to be seen by any more people than they had to.

After Rosa had agreed to speak with them, they had driven straight back to the hotel and dove into their notes again. Barely stopping to eat lunch. The FBI agents who originally interviewed Rosa Sparks did a good job. But she hadn't given them much to go on. Her memories about that night were scattered. She had been drugged so even basic information on where she was taken and who else had been involved were hard for her to convey.

Keen stole a glance at Ressler who appeared to be deep in thought. About what, she wasn't sure. She knew he was struggling with this case. Just as much as she was, even though he wouldn't admit it. But she saw his uneasiness at the church earlier and wished he talked to her more. Wished he opened up and let her inside so she wouldn't have to guess. She thought back to how soft and yielding his eyes were when she grabbed his hand during the sermon. Almost as if he was trying to convey something without words. Keen considered herself a good profiler… but not when it came to Ressler. He was still an enigma.

Ressler was the first to notice people starting to leave the church. It was 4:50pm. Rosa's class must have just ended.

Both agents watched the steady stream of people start to taper off until the church parking lot was almost empty minus three church vans and a few other cars.

Ressler looked over at Keen. "I know I don't say this often enough, Keen, but you're a good agent. I'm not sure I'd have been able to convince the victim to speak to us tonight but you did."

The shocked look on Keen's face from his admission made him suddenly start to laugh.

"Judging by your face, that compliment should hold me over for at least another year. Don't expect any more from me any time soon."

She smiled at him. "You're not half bad yourself, Ressler", she said teasingly as they both got out of the car and entered the church.

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The church was empty when Agents Keen and Ressler first got inside. They walked straight to Rosa's office but there was a note on the table that she was currently in the conference room in the back of the church.

"I don't like this, Keen", Ressler said aloud. "The plan was to meet her here, in her office so nothing would seem abnormal."

Keen hated to admit it but she agreed. And she immediately put a hand to her gun while turning to look at Ressler.

"We have to go see if she's back there. If one of Moxly's people noticed us earlier, she's in trouble."

As they walked to the back conference room, Ressler took the lead. He often did that, much to Agent Keen's frustration. Chivalry with Ressler was one trait she had yet to break and probably never would. He went first into a dangerous situation. Always.

When they got to the conference room, the door was open and Sparks was anxiously awaiting inside. She spotted the two agents and immediately got up and ushered them in the room.

"Rosa, why are we meeting back here. Why the change of plans?" Keen was irritated, though she tried not to let it show.

"I know and I'm sorry. Please, have a seat, it's safer back here. I got worried about the prying eyes if we met in the front offices."

Just when Ressler took his hand off his gun, he felt the door close behind him and something hard sticking in the side of his neck.

Keen turned around suddenly after hearing the door close and saw Tyron Moxly with a gun pointed at her partner's head.

"Drop your weapon, Agent Keen", a now relaxed Sparks suddenly said to her as she smiled at Moxly.

Keen was confused. She didn't understand. She looked over at Ressler who had the same look on his face.

They were played.

_**I promise more Keenler in the next few chapters... just had to build the storyline a bit. I love comments so please let me know if you're enjoying it! **_


	7. Chapter 7

It didn't take Ressler long to realize the enormity of their situation. He watched as Sparks raised her gun pointed two feet from Keen's chest. He stared at his partner's face; seeing the realization in her eyes of the key detail that had evaded them both this entire case. There was a reason why Keen felt such a strong desire to speak with Sparks. It never made sense that Moxly would let her get away. And now they both knew Sparks was no victim. She was his accomplice.

Ressler was jolted out of his thoughts by Moxly's laughter. "Agents Keen and Ressler, I presume."

His face was harsh, hidden by an unruly beard and thick, dark brown hair. His appearance looked different from the last photo the agents had on him.

"Who sent you here?" Moxly looked between the two agents, who both remained silent.

Just then, Ressler's stomach was hit with forceful punch which buckled him over.

"Who else knows you're here, Agent Keen", Moxly said watching her face tense at seeing her partner attacked.

"Don't answer him, Keen." Ressler said while standing upright again, only to be pistol-whipped in the back of the temple by Moxly's gun.

"Stop. Stop. I'll tell you what you want to know." Keen's voice screamed out as she watched Ressler fall to the ground. "We were directed here by the FBI because of a new lead on the case. We were the first to arrive but more agents are on their way."

Sparks smirked. "Bullshit", she said while staring into Keen's eyes. "You're a poor liar, Agent Keen. You two are all alone on this, aren't you?"

Keen watched as Ressler's eyes bore into hers. They had screwed up.

"Well, good. That makes this next step a heck of a lot easier for us", Sparks said while reaching into a black bag on the conference table.

And as they were both injected with a needle, it was understood exactly what their fate would be.

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The first thing Ressler noticed when he awakened was the cold. His whole body was frigid and he was lying on his side, with feet and hands tied in front of him, in what appeared to be the back of a van. He immediately noticed Keen right in front of him with her eyes closed in the same predicament.

"Keen… Keen", he said scooting forward, softly shaking her as best he could with his tied hands.

Her eyes slowly opened and immediately strained with worry.

"Ressler, where are we? Why are my hands tied? What is this?"

"I don't know", Ressler said softly. "I think they drugged us and drove us somewhere. We're definitely not near the church anymore."

The back window of the van showed a different landscape than the one near the church. Ressler hadn't heard any voices but he knew Moxly and Sparks wouldn't go far.

He was about to speak… about to hatch a plan to get them out of this when he saw a tear fall from Keen's face.

She looked up at him and spoke softly. "When I saw them put a needle in you…. I didn't think… I thought we were dead."

Ressler extended his arms to grab her hands and comfort her.

"We're going to die", she said with a muffled voice, her body shaking under his grasp.

"I'm not going to let them hurt you, Keen", Ressler said squeezing her hands. He looked around the van for anything he could use as a weapon. But it was empty. The only chance they had of escaping was if one of them could free their hands from the rope.

"Hurt me?" Keen said while looking up at him, recognizing Ressler's lack of inclusion of his own safety in his statement. He ignored her question while continuing to look around the van for anything they could use.

Just then, he saw it. A small metal scrap where a bench used to be attached sticking up on the side of the van. He slowly raised his body trying not to rock the van and got up on his knees to scoot towards the metal.

"Ressler", Keen said suddenly looking alert and terrified. "They're back, I hear voices."

"Shit", Ressler said under his breath hearing them too. The sounds were getting louder and louder as he see-sawed the rope binding his hands back and forth. He silently cursed its thickness… He was having a hard time getting any traction from the dull edge of the metal.

He saw Keen out of the corner of his eye getting up from the floor and watched her position herself between him and the back door to the van.

"What are you doing, Keen", he stopped to turn in her direction.

"Keep working", she said. Ressler turned his attention back to the rope tying his hands. He was almost through with it.

Just then the doors to the van opened.

He barely turned around in time to see Keen lunge her body onto Sparks, providing a distraction for Ressler as he feverishly worked to free his bound hands.


	8. Chapter 8

Keen barely felt any pain as her body collided with Sparks and hit the cold, hard ground. Her hands still tied, she wasn't able to do much besides kick her legs and beat her arms against Sparks. But her plan wasn't to win the fight, just to provide Ressler with even a few more seconds to get his hands free.

As she found herself being punched in the face by Sparks, she looked out of one eye to see Ressler being dragged out of the van by Moxly with a gun to his temple.

"Another move, Agent Keen, and your partner gets a bullet between the eyes", Moxly stated coldly with no doubt in his voice that he would follow through with his threat.

The words sucked all the life out of Keen. She stopped moving; stopped breathing. Instead, choosing to stare at the metal barrel pressing against Ressler's temple.

"Please don't. Please. I'll do whatever you want. Just don't hurt him."

Keen stared at Ressler, his eyes full of rage.

"Ahhh, whatever we want?" Moxly's mouth suddenly turned into a smile as he gestured towards Sparks.

"Looks like our agents here might be a little more than partners, wouldn't you say Rosa?" She chuckled.

"What do you think our clients would pay for Federal Agent Keen? To have her at their beck and call… To own her." Moxly cocky smile was now turned into a hard-faced scowl.

Ressler's stomach turned. He squirmed against the gun still pressed against his head.

"No. Keen, no." Ressler violently tried to break free of Moxly's hold.

"What do you say, Agent Keen? We spare your partner's life if you agree to come with us."

Keen's eyes lowered, her mind trying to process exactly what Moxly was offering.

"Keen, please. It's not worth it," Ressler pleaded with her. "I'm not worth it. What the hell are you thinking?"

Keen looked at Ressler. His eyes screaming at her to shut up, not give in to their plan.

"Ressler, they're going to kill you", she said slowly. "Don't you understand…They're going to kill you and take me anyway. I have to try to save you."

Ressler's face grimaced as he spoke. "Save me from what? A bullet in the head versus a life without you in it? Don't you understand that would be worse. Worse than death."

Keen quickly drew in a breath, stunned by Ressler's admission. She watched him close his eyes, looking away from her as he opened them. Not willing to see the warm tears that now flooded her face. She needed him to look at her. She needed him to see that the decision she was making was the only choice she had. But he didn't. He couldn't. And she knew he would never forgive her for it.

"Ressler, I'm sorry." She looked over at Moxly and nodded.


	9. Chapter 9

Her eyes felt like daggers… boring holes into the side of his face, begging him to look over as Sparks led her back into the van. But he wouldn't. He couldn't.

Ressler was furious. Furious that she had decided his fate for him. Furious that she was willing to give up her life, so he could continue living his pathetic excuse of one.

Without her.

He was still on his knees with a gun pointed at his head when Moxly addressed him. "Looks like your partner saved your ass, Agent Ressler."

The fury in Ressler continued to build as Moxly attempted to push his buttons. "Pretty little thing like that… I'm sure she'll make one of my clients REALLY happy." A devious smile began to form on Moxly's face.

"Just wondering, Agent Ressler… Is she any good? I mean, you could tell me yourself or I could sample the goods on my own before I put her on the market."

Ressler lost whatever composure he had left in him and jumped off his knees lunging at Moxly, still with his feet and hands tied in ropes. They both fell hard on the dirt, Moxly's gun thrown a few feet away from the force of Ressler's attack. Both men began wrestling, trying to obtain the best position to fight off the other. Ressler was able to get his hands around Moxly's neck, using the rope as a weapon, and began to strangle him on the ground.

"I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch", Ressler said as he saw Moxly's face turning blue.

It took Sparks a few minutes to register what was going on outside of the van. She had just closed the doors, trapping Agent Keen inside, when she saw Moxly struggling for air as Ressler tightened the rope around his neck.

She quickly ran over to the two men, realizing in an instant that her gun was missing from her side holster. Instead, she began kicking Agent Ressler's face into the ground with the heel of her shoe. It worked. Ressler immediately reacted to the force of the kick and loosened the choke hold he had on Moxly's neck.

Sparks bent over trying to undo the rope from around her accomplice, all while listening to the moans of Agent Ressler suffering from the physical force of her shoe.

When she got Moxly free of the rope, she reached over to retrieve his gun which had fallen a few feet from the men when Ressler lunged at him. She picked up the weapon and turned around to put a bullet in Ressler's head when she noticed her.

Agent Keen was standing, still with her hands tied, pointing her missing gun at Sparks.

"Put the weapon down, Rosa. Or whatever the hell your name is."

Sparks froze, Moxly's gun still in her hand by her side. "Agent Keen, please. You have to understand, I was coerced. This whole time, it was Moxly who forced me into this role. I'm a victim just like the others."

Keen kept her gaze on Sparks while still looking out the corner of her eye at Moxly's body, not moving on the ground, with Ressler moaning beside him.

"Drop the gun!" Keen was now yelling at Sparks walking with her gun still aimed towards her. "How could you help this monster destroy the lives of all those innocent women?"

Sparks began to speak but Ressler cut her off.

"Shoot her, Keen. Stop asking questions", he said while trying to get up on his feet.

"Where are they?" Keen shouted. "Where are all the women you sold?"

"I don't know. We never kept records. Please, you have to believe me. I never meant to hurt anyone Agent Keen. If I didn't help him, I would've been sold myself."

Agent Keen stopped about four feet in front of Sparks. Staring at the woman, watching the gun still located in her right hand.

It was just then that Moxly began to stir on the ground. The distraction caused Sparks to quickly lift her gun and aim at Keen, only to be stopped before she could pull the trigger. Two gunshots rang out in the air, blood beginning to form on the blouse of Rosa Sparks.

Agent Keen stood there watching as the bullets from her gun caused Sparks to fall to the ground. She quickly rushed over to her, hoping she was still alive to provide any useful information before she died.

"Rosa, please do the right thing. Where can I find the women?"

Sparks' eyes drooped low as life drained from her body.

"You silly girl…. You'll never know."


	10. Chapter 10

Neither agent said a word in the car ride back to their hotel. They left the scene, three hours later, with the area still swarming with FBI agents. Assistant Director Cooper was furious. Even though they had apprehended Moxly, they had disobeyed orders and killed his accomplice. The agents had gone rogue on their own to try to break the case. Neither Keen nor Ressler was looking forward to the return trip home.

When they pulled up to the hotel to get their things, Keen sat in the driver's seat with the car still running.

"Ressler…", she said softly. Keen knew they should talk about what happened today. She knew that if she didn't bring it up now, it would be swept under the rug… by both of them.

"Keen, don't." Ressler turned his head in her direction. His eyes were hard. Her body cringed under his intense glare, leaving her no choice but to obey his wishes.

He got out of the car and walked inside, leaving her sitting there alone.

She found herself overcome with emotion. Her body began to betray her as she felt the tears start to fall and her hands tremble with fear.

Fear that she had lost the only real friend she had left in this world. Fear that their relationship would never be the same. Fear that Ressler would never forgive her.

She kept waiting, looking at the front doors of the hotel for him to walk back out and realize that she did what she had to do today to save them both. That she would do it again in a heartbeat, if it meant they both made it out of the situation alive.

Keen sat in the car for 30 minutes.

He never came back.


	11. Chapter 11

She silently cursed her alarm when it rang out at 5:30am that morning. Even though it was her first official day back at work in a week since the Moxly/Sparks case, Keen still hated the early wake-up call. And if she was being honest with herself, she was anxious about seeing Ressler for the first time since Madison.

She guessed he had returned back home on a commercial flight. After he left her in the car, he had disappeared. When she had returned to get her things from the hotel, Dembe had been waiting for her in front of her door; ready to escort her, and Ressler, to Red's plane. She tried calling him. She even got the hotel staff to open his hotel room, but his things were already gone.

When she arrived back at the Post Office, she was immediately reprimanded in Cooper's office and mandated to take paid vacation for a week after her debrief. Keen had fucked up. She violated FBI policy by obtaining Sparks address and questioning her. Even though she had turned out to be an accomplice, the two agents never should've been there. And it made Keen feel even worse when she learned that Ressler had tried to take the blame for the incident by telling Cooper that he was the one who pressured Red into giving up Sparks name and address.

She had thought about calling him during the week. She even sat outside his apartment building, seeing his silhouette in the window, contemplating whether she should go knock on his door. But something stopped her. And now, here she was, on her way to work about to step into the office where she had to face him for the first time since the incident.

_You guys will get through this, Keen. You always do. _

But when she walked into their shared office and looked at Ressler's face, she wasn't so sure.

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Ressler had woken up extra early that morning to be the first one to arrive in the office. A week had been long enough. He was ready to take his mind off things and dive back into the job.

The job.

It had saved his life more than once. After Audrey, it was the only thing that kept him from going insane. And now with this latest mess that he had gotten into with Keen, he was itching to get back to normal. Whatever normal now was.

He imagined today would be a bit difficult. He hadn't spoken to Keen since leaving the crime scene where Sparks had died and Moxly had been arrested. When he got back to the hotel, he thought about sticking around and heading back to the Post Office with her. But he needed some time alone. He needed time to think things through.

He knew they were in trouble. That much was evident by Cooper's berating over the phone from the scene. But Ressler wasn't worried about that. He was a good agent, and so was Keen. He knew they'd get a reprimand and be back on the job in no time.

No, Ressler needed time to think… about his partner.

When he arrived to work that morning, he was agitated to find that Aram had beaten him there.

"Agent Ressler, can I say how awesome it is to have you back." Ressler nodded, barely slowing down his steps as he headed towards his office.

"You and Keen. We've missed you guys. We've been twiddling our thumbs for the past week since you've been away."

Ressler hoped that Aram would take the hint about him not being in a chatty mood but he continued to follow him to his office.

"I know things didn't go down quite as expected in Madison. How's Keen, is she doing okay?" Aram stared at Ressler, awaiting an answer.

"Everything is fine, Aram", he said with a dismissive tone. "Now if you could give me a little bit, I have paperwork I need to look over before the day starts."

"Of course, of course. Sorry, Agent Ressler."

Ressler sat at his desk, watching as Aram walked away. He breathed in deeply. He'd have to remember to engage Aram later on that day to make up for his behavior just then. Though if anyone in the office wouldn't hold it against him, it was Aram.

He looked over at Keen's desk and wondered what he was going to say to her. Maybe they both would go on like the case had never happened. He could hope anyway.

As the morning drew on, he looked up from the papers he had been reading and saw her walking towards the office. She looked rested; happy even. Ressler watched her stop and chat with Aram, smiling, as if she didn't have a care in the world.

And for some reason, this pissed Ressler off.

She got to the doorway of their office and stopped, daring him to look up at her. And when he did, he knew his eyes weren't able to conceal his contempt.


	12. Chapter 12

Keen stopped in her tracks when she saw him from the doorway. She had walked into the office with a full script, memorized, on what she would say to him. But the look in his eyes, made her bite her tongue and head over to her desk without so much as a nod.

She frowned when she saw him resume reading the papers that were in his hands. Her and Ressler's relationship had gone through some tough times. But it never got to the point where they ignored each other. If anything, when they had their tense moments, it always made Ressler more professional around her, going over every detail as if they didn't already know what the other one was thinking.

But now, watching him burrow his head in paperwork when there was still so much left to say, Agent Keen was treading in unknown waters. She tried to break the ice with sarcasm.

"Glad to see you made it back from Madison okay. Did you enjoy the time off? Do anything fun?"

She heard him breathe in deeply, still with his head down reading the paperwork on their newest case in front of him.

"I knew you'd be fine without me escorting you back." Ressler said with no hint of cynicism.

He looked up at her.

"Listen, Keen. I get that you want to talk. But as far as I'm concerned, nothing more needs to be said that we don't already know." Ressler got up from his chair and stood by his desk.

"We both made decisions out in the field that we thought best at the time. And those decisions landed us almost killed and suspended without pay. End of story."

"Ressler, I don't understand…" Keen started on her train of thought but was interrupted.

"There is nothing to understand, Keen." He stated boldly. "We're partners. Partners who apparently need to look over their FBI protocol booklet again."

Keen was stunned. She hadn't expected Ressler to still be so angry. Upset, maybe. But not angry.

She watched him reach down on his desk to retrieve the book they give to new agents and throw it on her desk.

"Have at it Keen." His voice now almost a whisper. "And to answer your question, no. I didn't do anything fun this week. I spent it reviewing that booklet to make sure what happened in Madison, Wisconsin never happens again."

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Keen walked into the pub next to her apartment still fuming from earlier that day. She sat down at the bar and immediately engaged the bartender to order a whiskey and keep them coming.

She couldn't believe Ressler's nerve from earlier. How dare he imply she didn't know the protocol. Screw the protocol. If she had followed that stupid booklet, he would have a bullet in his head and she would be in an unknown country locked in someone's basement.

They hadn't even looked in each other's direction the rest of the day after their conversation that morning. Keen knew the other agents sensed their tension. Even Agent Navabi, whom Agent Keen was never particularly close with, approached her asking if everything was okay.

As if the answer were that simple.

Keen sat there trying to figure out the real source behind Ressler's anger. Was he angry at her for pressing Red and going against protocol to visit a witness in protective custody? Was he mad about her choice to give herself up in order to keep him safe? Or was he mad about his confession that he needed her in his life?

She stared down into her whiskey, thinking hard about what he had admitted when he wasn't sure they would both live. It would be a lie if she said it hadn't shocked her.

But she felt the same way… about him.

Their relationship had grown close over the last few months. Each agent pulling each other out of some dark spaces when the other needed it. She tried to imagine Ressler not being in her life… who she could turn to.

She came up with a blank.

Liz hadn't realized she'd been on her 5th whiskey of the night until the bartender politely refused her another round. A little embarrassed, she got up from the bar, assuring the bartender that she lived one block away, and headed out into the cold night.

She felt silly now, stumbling over her feet, realizing she had spent the night drinking her troubles away. She thought about calling Ressler. She didn't want to fight, didn't want to lose him in her life. But she needed him to tell her what was really going on. She needed him to open up to her and quit the aggression.

She reached for the phone in her pocket and started to dial. It wasn't until she heard a phone ringing in front her that she looked up.

There stood Donald Ressler waiting at her door.


	13. Chapter 13

"Where were you? I've been waiting here for almost an hour." He said with slight agitation in his voice.

"At the bar next door." She said with a slight grin on her face. "You should've come, it would've been fun having you there to berate me about my bad choices and how to be a better partner."

"How much have you had to drink tonight?" Ressler asked her, knowing already the answer was 'too much'.

"I'm not drunk, Ressler, if that's what you're asking." Keen said matter of factly. "If I was drunk, I would've already cursed you out for how you've been treating me lately."

Ressler looked down, grimacing his mouth. "Look... About what I said earlier…"

"No, Donald, please don't stop. Tell me more about how I screwed up."

The use of his first name made him look up. He couldn't recall ever hearing her call him by his first name.

+ "Why are you so angry, Ressler?" She asked heatedly. "Is it because I tried to save your life?"

"You think I could've lived with myself if my life was spared and yours wasn't?", he said loudly. "If they had taken you away while I sat there watching?"

Ressler walked towards her now. Coming within inches of her face.

"Keen, don't you understand what you did?", he said. "You placed the value of my life over your own."

Liz froze. Until Ressler had put those words together, she hadn't even thought about it in that sense.

"I didn't mean to…", Liz said with Ressler cutting her off.

"But you did, Liz. You did. You forced that hand upon me. Forced me to sit and watch the one good thing in my life walk out of it."

Liz watched the hurt in his face as he bared his emotions.

"You don't think I feel the same, Ressler? You think I could've sat there and watched them put a bullet in your head? Watched you die right in front of me when I knew there was something I could do to stop it?"

He stood there silent.

"If so, you don't know me very well." She said coldly. "You don't know us very well."

The statement resonated between them both.

Ressler looked up into her eyes before he began to speak again.

"I can't continue to feel the way I do. Our partnership…. What happens when we're forced to make a decision like that again."

"Ressler, we'll figure it out", Liz said without hesitation. "We care about each other. There's nothing wrong with that. It makes us better partners."

Ressler watched her as she spoke those words. Knowing they weren't the whole truth.

"It's more complicated than that and you know it."

"It doesn't have to be…", Liz said with force. She watched Ressler's face look down and his eyes close. He was struggling with something. She watched as his eyes opened and looked up at her.

"Don't you get it Liz?" Ressler said loudly, his eyes zeroing in on hers. "I can't love you."


	14. Chapter 14

Liz stood there silent. Staring at Ressler while she sorted through what he had just spoken aloud. She tried to form the right words. But she couldn't.

Ressler watched her eyes as his words resonated within her. He hadn't planned on this. Hadn't planned on admitting to her or himself how he truly felt. But it was there. It had been for quite some time.

They stood there in silence. Each agent deep in their own thoughts about the conversation that just ended.

"I'm gonna head home", Ressler said softly while turning around to walk back to his car. He got a few feet away from Keen when he heard her speak.

"Come upstairs?" She asked, gaining her composure from Ressler's admission a few seconds beforehand.

He laughed. "I'm not sure that would be the best idea."

"Just to talk…. without standing in 20 degree weather. My face is numb."

Ressler thought about it for a minute. Meanwhile, Liz had already opened her door to the building while turning around to look at him.

"Come on, Ressler. I have the Columbian coffee you like…"

His lips formed a smile as he followed her into the building.

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Ressler was sitting on the couch when Liz brought over two cups of piping hot mugs filled to the brim with Ressler's favorite coffee.

"I hope you enjoy this", she said amusingly. "We're both drinking what would've been your Christmas present."

He laughed while watching her sip into it and savor the first taste.

"Now I see why you like this so much", she said. "It's pretty good."

They both sat on the couch, neither one saying a word. Liz kept going over Ressler's words downstairs in front of her building. It hadn't been a shock to her… those words. Maybe a shock that he had said them out loud. But she had known her feelings for her partner had grown complicated recently.

"Look, Liz, about what I said downstairs…"

"Ressler, please don't."

"Don't what?" Ressler asked, not understanding what she meant.

"Don't take it back."

He looked at her. Sighing heavily to himself while chuckling on the inside.

"I wish I could take it back, Keen. I wish I could sit here and tell you it wasn't true. That I haven't allowed personal feelings to get in the way of our partnership…" He looked down. "But it would be a lie."

She sat there, choosing her next words carefully.

"You're not alone, Ressler."

He looked up at her. Her eyes were cautious, nervous of where the conversation was leading.

"You've never been alone… in this", she said. "Which is why when you got angry at me for risking my life for yours, I didn't understand why. If you love me enough to die for me, why wouldn't you understand I would do the same for you."

Ressler processed her words… trying to understand what she was actually saying to him.

"You weren't wrong a few months ago… about my feelings for Tom. There is a part of me that still loves him, Ressler. A part of me that misses my old life. The comfortability it held… the safety."

She watched his face flinch. The reaction that Tom still held a part of her heart was hard for Ressler to take in. She saw this now.

"But I know it was never real… with him. Whereas, you..."

She stopped for a brief second and contemplated whether she should stop talking. But Ressler's eyes begged her to continue on.

"Ressler, there are times I want to be in your life… as more than just a partner. Take your hurt away. Hoping you can help take away some of mine."

Liz sat still, hoping she hadn't said too much. She watched his eyes on her, wondering what was behind his gaze.

"Liz, I'm not sure where to go from here…"

"I know." She said softly, her hands shaking a bit from the question she was about to ask next.

"Do you want to stay the night?"

From any other woman, Ressler would've laughed and asked her intentions. But he knew Liz. He knew her invitation wasn't about sex. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted comfort. Stability. She wanted him.

He nodded.


	15. Chapter 15

Liz got up from the couch, surprising herself of how sure she was in asking Ressler to spend the night. She hoped he had taken it the way she had intended. Hoped she hadn't just embarrassed herself with a man who was her partner, her friend.

She walked towards her bedroom door and was happy to hear his footsteps not far behind her.

When she got into her bedroom, she turned around and saw Ressler standing by the door, awaiting to be invited in.

"I need to use the restroom for a minute, I'll be right out." She spoke softly, seeing the hesitation in his eyes. He nodded slowly and walked over to her bed.

When she got out of the bathroom, he was sitting on the side of her bed, stripped of his work shirt and pants, wearing only a tshirt and shorts.

Liz thought to herself how crazy this situation was. They were partners… federal agents, at that. Assigned to take down some of the most dangerous criminals in the world. And they both were nervous.

She noticed his eyes on her, scrolling down her body at the oversized tshirt she had changed into. She hadn't realized she had been standing there not moving until he finally spoke.

"Is this the side you usually sleep on? I can move over if it is."

For some reason, his question made her laugh out loud. "Honestly, Ressler. Out of all the things I never would've thought to hear out of your mouth, that was one of them."

He smirked as she walked towards the other side and got in the bed. She watched him follow her lead and do the same.

They laid there together on opposite sides of the bed, listening to the other breathing. Liz heard Ressler let out a small sigh.

"I don't want to screw this up, Liz", he said with a shaky voice.

She closed her eyes. "Me either, Ressler."

She opened her eyes and looked over at him to find him staring back at her. His eyes intensely focused on hers. She thought to herself that there was no going back from this moment. And she saw the same realization in Ressler's eyes.

Liz turned over to her side and started to inch closer to Ressler until she was lying right in front of him. She could feel the heat from his body alongside hers. She moved her hand and placed it on his face, touching his cheek, his eyes, his mouth. She watched him close his eyes and at her intimate gesture. She could feel his breath on her face getting faster and faster.

As he opened his eyes, he placed his hand over hers still on his face.

"I never thanked you for saving my life." He said quietly.

"We saved each other", she said with no hesitation.

She watched his eyes grow soft, intimate. He moved his hand over to her face, caressing her lips, still unsure of whether or not to cross the next step in their relationship.

She opened her mouth slightly, kissing his thumb softly. Next thing she knew, his mouth was on hers. Kissing her lips gently, exploring her face with his fingers. She kissed back passionately, running her fingers through his hair and down his back.

She pulled him in tighter, their bodies now against each other.

Ressler moved his hand from her face along the side of her body, clinching the fabric from her shirt around her hip. He heard her moan from his touch as she wrapped her leg around his body.

He found himself losing control. Their hands were all over each other, their mouths kissing and sucking passionately. He pulled back from her lips and immediately missed their warmth.

"Liz…", he moaned.

Breathless, she looked up into his eyes, seeing the fire behind them. And knowing what he was about to say next.

"I want this…. God knows I want this." He spoke carefully, his body not liking what his mind was telling him.

"I know, Ressler", she said unwrapping her leg from his body. He groaned.

"I don't know what this is. Between us", he said slowly. "But I want to do it right."

She smiled slightly. She knew how much control it must've taken him to stop in the middle of this. His eyes were warm, begging her not to take offense and understand.

She reached over and kissed him softly on the lips. When she pulled away, she heard him groan.

"God Liz, you aren't making this easy for me."

"Ressler, there's nothing that I want more than to make love to you right now." She heard him inhale deeply and continued on. "But I want it to be right. I don't want any regrets."

He nodded hesitantly.

"I can go sleep on the couch", he said softly.

"No", Liz said sharply "Please don't leave. I'll behave." She laughed softly.

Ressler smirked. "It's not you I'm worried about."

She turned around on the bed, facing away from Ressler. She felt him turn away from her, moving farther away to the other side of the bed. But she grabbed his hand, stopping him from going any further. She scooted her body close to his, her back against his chest.

His arm enveloped her body, his face nuzzled into her hair. She sighed deeply, realizing there was no place she would rather be than in Ressler's arms right now.

"I love you, Ressler." She felt his body stiffen around her. "I needed you to know that."

"I needed to hear it." Ressler said while holding her body tighter.

A few minutes later, he heard her start to snore.

He wasn't sure what this meant for their friendship, their partnership. His mind going from excitement to worry about what their future held.

He did not sleep at all that night once he realized the decision that he was going to have to make.

Liz... or the job.

He knew he couldn't have both.


End file.
